Angry mobs are going to line up to spank me. I will get in trouble for this one y’all. But sometimes you gotta stand up and say what everyone else is thinking.
Pro or Anti spanking advocates are often inflexible on their position.
I’m a born and bred Southerner. I wasn’t beaten as a child, but I did earn my fair share of spankings.
I find it interesting that in the South spanking is more accepted. Yet in other countries spanking has been outlawed altogether.
Dr. Spock began changing the attitudes of parents toward spanking their children in 1946.
Understand that in this article I am speaking of spanking. Any obvious abuse, leaving marks on a child or striking your child in anger is not acceptable for anyone.
We have to define spanking, what it is and what it isn’t.
Spanking isn’t something to be used to let your child know how upset you are. Your words can do that.
Spanking is an extreme form of correction to be used sparingly and with great responsibility. Spanking is usually only effective from the ages of 2-6.
Spanking isn’t to be used as your ‘go to’ when correcting your child’s behavior.
Spanking is the top of the pyramid, the most rarely used recourse when correcting your child’s behavior.
Deciding how to discipline or correct your child is a very personal issue, and one that should be carefully considered.
There are limits that must be adhered to when choosing an acceptable form of correction for your children.
There are limits when using any form of discipline. You wouldn’t leave your 3 year old in time out for 2 hours would you?
So why is spanking such a hot topic?
Spanking because you were spanked
Spanking is something that most people 30+ have experienced as children. Unfortunately (in that group) a large amount of us were not just corrected, often we were spanked in a way that is unacceptable.
We were spanked in anger, with tools intended to inflict harm, or simply hit because we were near and our parents were angry.
I roll my eyes when I hear “I was spanked and turned out okay”. I don’t know about you, but I have never wanted my child to turn out just okay.
I want them to become exceptional, well rounded members of society. That’s the reason I reject this reasoning when moms use it to explain their decision to spank their child.
Spanking as an extreme measure
A parent who chooses to spank and does so properly will not employ that method of correction often.
Spanking done properly is a last resort. Something that is thought out well in advance, and is done after other methods have been tried and failed.
There are some children who should never be spanked – children who are sensitive to correction for example should never be spanked. If your child is sensitive to any correction given will be able to correct their behavior with less extreme measures.
With that in mind I will say that I have spanked my children.
There are many rules in our house about spanking. One of which is that it is only used when our children have not self corrected after doing something harmful to living creatures, or after other forms of correction have failed and an extreme behavior continues.
For example my daughter got a spanking for pulling the dog around by the tail. She was 4 years old, and well aware of our family rule that we do not hurt animals.
Before we spanked her we tried everything else to get her to stop. We took away toys, used time out, talked about how animals felt when they were happy and when they were sad.
None of this made an impact, so I took her aside privately and she got 2 swats on her blue jean clad bottom with my hand. We NEVER spank with anything other than our hands.
In that case she needed to see that I was serious enough about the treatment of our family pet that she got a correction that I rarely employ. She has yet to pull the dog’s tail again.
Any form of correction can constitute abuse when administered incorrectly.
Spanking is an effective form of correcting a child’s behavior when used correctly and with well thought out guidelines.
Do you spank your child? Why did you make the choice to spank or not spank your child?